i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
