A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize