Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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