you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
