Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
