Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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