Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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