69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
