He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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