O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
