Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
