R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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