I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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