I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
