Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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