Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
