He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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