it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
