YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize