In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
