You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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