Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
