I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have fence marks all over my body
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
