Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
