come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
