she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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