Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
