i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
