i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
