ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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