I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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