You just made me feel so damn special
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
