I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
