i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
