I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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