I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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