She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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