Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I wish there were birth control emojis
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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