i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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