We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize