I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
