he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
