i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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