Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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