so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
