i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
