sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
