I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize