Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
