it hurts more in the daytime
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
