so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
