I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
