I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
