Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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