Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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