What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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