This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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