Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
