grandma shit on top of the toilet
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
