okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
