I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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