I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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