In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
