question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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